So You’ve Been Diagnosed with Cancer: A Game Plan For Your Next Moves
To start, we’re so deeply sorry that this diagnosis has become part of your reality. We know exactly how you feel, and we can confidently tell you that even though this news hit like a ton of bricks, it does NOT define you. This is just a chapter. Below, we’re sharing the very steps we took when we were on our own cancer journeys.
We know it’s heavy, but we hope the info here helps lighten the load.
CHECK IN & BREATHE
This can feel like an out of body experience. Everything’s spinning, nothing feels real and suddenly, even breathing feels like a task. So the first step we suggest? Check in with yourself.
Ask: Am I breathing? Am I clenching my jaw? Can I drop my shoulders, even just a little?
Take a moment. Just be with yourself.
Whether it’s the deepest breath you’ve taken all day, a round of box breathing (in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4 repeat), or the calming rhythm of 4-7-8 (in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8). Either way, just breathe.
Your mind might be racing with questions: How do I tell my family? My friends? What about my job? My plans?!
But right now, your breath is your first action. Your first anchor. It’s how you begin to take back even the smallest sense of control in the middle of the unknown.
NEXT...SCREAM.
Or stomp your feet, wave your arms, have a full-blown adult temper tantrum. It’s not fair. It’s beyond messed up. But you’re here, and the worst thing you can do is bottle up all that anger and fear. LET. IT. OUT.
Whatever it is, find your way to release the anger and the hurt. You can’t keep that bottled up.
Here are some ways to release all that pent-up energy:
- Car Scream: Get in your car, drive to a secluded spot (seriously, avoid alarming anyone nearby), roll down the windows or keep them up, and scream as loud as you can. Release it.
- Impromptu Boxing class: That punching bag or pillow or couch cushion? It’s your cancer, your diagnosis, your paused plans, all the frustration. Now, we don’t condone violence but beating up pillow is surprisingly comforting.
- Dance it out: Punch the air, kick, stomp, shake your body, wave your arms, go wild. Get it all out.
For me, I was driving back to LA from Arizona after telling one of my best friends about my diagnosis. I had to pull over in the middle of the desert and just let it out. It felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t. I screamed until I nearly lost my voice, and afterward, I felt so light like I was floating. - Kesley
SHARING THE NEWS
This was one of the hardest parts for both of us. Because saying it out loud makes it real. But here’s the thing, you don’t have to tell everyone unless you want to. It can be exhausting holding space for other people’s emotions while trying to process your own. Don’t go through this alone, but share at your own pace. For us, we told our close family and friends, and they helped spread the news, allowing us to focus on what was ahead. Kesley even made an Instagram video to thank everyone for their love and support. Throughout our journeys, we shared updates on Instagram, which made it easier than giving weekly updates to everyone individually.
We also created a guide to help you share the news with loved ones. It includes tips on what NOT to say to someone with a diagnosis and ways they can support you. It’s part of our prompt bundle with other resources. You can find the link to download below.
PLAN & PREPARE FOR CHEMOTHERAPY
Chemo can feel overwhelming, especially when you don’t know what to expect.
This is your story. Not anyone else’s. And while you can’t control every part of the path, you can feel more prepared walking it.
We created a guide to help you do exactly that. Organized, info-packed, and grounded in what we wish we’d known from day one. When you’re informed, you’re empowered. Let this be your starting point
Discover Our Chemo Guide Here
THERAPY SUPPORT & SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH
Whether you’ve just been diagnosed or you’re somewhere deep in the middle of it, let us say this loud and clear: you do not have to carry this alone.
If you’re currently in therapy or haven’t considered it yet, we strongly encourage you to speak to someone who offers a neutral, safe space. A non-biased ear. Someone who isn’t in your everyday life but can help you sort through the emotional baggage that comes with this chapter because this is A LOT!!
A cancer diagnosis is more than a medical event. It’s emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical. And the truth? It can feel deeply isolating. You’re trying to hold it together, to be brave, to make decisions, sometimes without fully processing what’s happening.
The feelings will come in waves: anger, sadness, confusion, relief, devastation, gratitude and sometimes all within an hour. There’s no rulebook for this. But there is support.
Whether it’s:
- Traditional talk therapy
- Tapping (EFT)
- EMDR
- Hypnosis or guided meditation
- Group therapy
- Journaling with a coach or facilitator
- Or even just confiding in someone you trust…
Feel it. Release it. You’re never too much and you don’t need to have it all figured out. This isn’t about fixing everything, it’s to find moments of ease, clarity, and calm.
CQ Advice
Blythe Found deep support through talk therapy, where she could unpack her emotions and breathe through the heaviness of her diagnosis and use helpful tools to move forward.
Kesley Worked with spiritual facilitator Celeste Palmer, who guided her through gentle hypnosis meditations before and after treatment days. She also did acupuncture with Dr. Roozebeh in Burbank, CA one to two days following chemo. Both sessions became a huge help in showing up to treatment prepared and decompressing with peace.
TELL YOUR EMPLOYER
Document. Document. Document and get everything in writing. The sooner your employer knows, the sooner you can work out options for time off, rest days, or any support you might need. We both worked during chemotherapy, and while it served as a good distraction, we knew when to dial it back and put our health first. Kesley arranged for Thursdays and Fridays to be her light days, while Blythe made sure her agents knew she was still working through treatment, even landing gigs like Neutrogena and Beyond Meat commercials, filming a movie, and the Walker show post-surgery.
The key? Communicate clearly so everyone knows where you stand.
LEARN ABOUT COLD CAPPING
Also, if chemo is in your future, you might be able to save most of your hair. Blythe has tried-and-true tips for cold capping, and we’ve got all the info you need to explore your options. Check out her Guide below.
Cold Capping: What You Need to Know
FIND THE PRODUCTS THAT WILL BRING COMFORT
Get the things that truly matter. We were both showered with love and gifts from everyone who cared about us, which was unbelievably sweet but let’s be real, a lot of it was just...unnecessary. So we’ve simplified things for you and your loved ones. The items in our storefront are the ones that actually helped us stay sane and feel soothed. You’re not going to need a million queasy pops or stacks of coloring books. Keep it simple, keep it easy. And feel free to share the storefront with anyone who might need it.
DOCUMENT YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE CHEMO QUEENS JOURNAL
We get firsthand how overwhelming this time can be, and one thing that helped us through the chaos was journaling. That’s why we created the Chemo Queens Journal, a space for you to write down your thoughts, questions for your healthcare team, track your progress, and document your feelings as you go through treatment. It’s more than just a journal; it’s a tool for reflection and release. Whether you’re venting, celebrating small victories, or just putting your feelings into words, this journal will be by your side, giving you a sense of control and clarity during an uncertain time.
Begin writing your story, your way.
Grab Your Chemo Queens Journal
MAKE YOUR APPOINTMENTS
We cannot stress this enough: Now’s the time to get ahead of your appointments. You’re about to enter a whirlwind of check-ups, scans, blood draws, infusions, consultations… the list will grow. So while you still have some breathing room, take care of any non-cancer-related appointments that will help you feel your best (and avoid potential hiccups down the road).
This is your prep window, use it! Let your practitioners know what’s coming up so they can support you accordingly. Here are a few to consider:
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Fertility Specialist: Even if you haven’t fully thought about this yet or even if it’s just the slightest thought that you might want children someday, or you’ve always known deep down that you were born to be a mother. Know this: YOU. HAVE. OPTIONS.
There should be an advocate to walk you through this. If there isn’t, ask your oncology team to connect you with a fertility specialist immediately. You deserve time to ask questions and understand your choices before making any decisions.
You shouldn’t feel rushed or pushed past this step until you’ve had a chance to explore it fully.
For what to ask and how to move forward, check out our fertility prompts in the link below. - Dentist: Get that cleaning in! Chemo can mess with your gums and mouth health, so it’s helpful to start with a clean slate.
- Hair Stylist: Even if you’re planning to cold cap or not, a light trim can help you feel a little more refreshed and in control before treatment starts.
- Eye Doctor: Chemo can affect vision for some people, so it’s smart to have an updated prescription just in case.
- Dermatologist or Aesthetician: Your skin may change during treatment, so check in with your skin care pros now if you’ve had any issues or are considering treatments.
- Nail Tech: This one’s big. If you’re keeping your nails on, make sure they’re done in a super clean, sterile environment. PERIOD. Chemo lowers your immune system, and the last thing you want is a nail infection stealing your energy. Some people opt to remove their gels or acrylics before treatment to play it extra safe. We both used non-toxic nail polish during treatment (ella+mila from Target/CVS is great!!).
- Microblading (optional): We didn’t do this personally, but we know some people who do. If you’re considering it, keep in mind you’ll need time for healing and possibly a follow-up session before treatment begins.
Every appointment you check off now is one less thing to worry about later. Think of this as part of setting the stage for your healing journey. You deserve to feel supported, prepared, and a little pampered, too.
ASSIGN A POWER OF ATTORNEY
This is about being prepared. Who will speak for you if needed? Who do you trust to have your back and make decisions in your best interest? Will it be your partner, your parent, sibling, best friend? There’s a lot to think about, but having this in place will help give you peace of mind.
DRAW UP A WILL
Yeah…we know, this one feels weird. But honestly, everyone should have a will, whether or not they’ve been diagnosed. It’s about being prepared. Where will everything go if something unexpected happens? Think about your assets, your beloved pets, finances, and yes, even your wardrobe.
YOUR ACTION PLAN
A cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming, and knowing where to start isn’t easy. This checklist highlights the key first steps to help you feel more organized and supported as you take things one step at a time.
As you move through the phases of treatment, start asking yourself: Who do I want to be on the other side of this?
Because yes, this changes you but it doesn’t define you. You’re still YOU. And speaking as two women who’ve made it to the other side we can tell you, there’s beauty in some of the pain. You’ll see what we mean.
We’ll be right here cheering you on!
