Chemo 101: Everything You Need From Diagnosis to Ringing the Bell
What do I need to know about chemotherapy?
Everything in this guide. From your first appointment to your last infusion, here is what actually helped us and the real talk that pamphlets leave out.
First off, this does not define you. This is just a chapter in your life story, and it's one you will get through. If we're being honest, yes, chemotherapy will challenge you in ways you never thought possible. This isn't to scare you but to prepare you. You've probably already started hearing the "you've got this!" encouragement and yes, you absolutely do. But let's keep it real: there will be moments when you feel like you're hitting rock bottom, only to find your way back on top, and then do it all over again. It's a tough cycle, but it does eventually come to an end. And here's the good news, there are tools and resources that can make this smoother and more manageable. We've put together a detailed step-by-step guide to help you get through chemo.
Jump to:
Ask All The Questions | Stay Hydrated | Your Chemo Bag | Take Your Meds | What To Eat | Rest | Move Your Body | Your Hair | Fertility | Your Environment | Self-Love | Mental Prep | Document It | Ask For Help | Healing Modalities | Find Joy | Skincare | What To Wear | Think About The Future
Ask All The Questions
Understanding your treatment plan and what to expect from each session will help so much. Bring your Chemo Queens Journal and Talk Tools with you to your healthcare appointments, and ask all the questions. Remember, knowledge is power, and you're strong as hell when you're equipped with resources. Keep an open dialogue with your team.
Blythe on advocating
Advocate for yourself. Ask for treatment options, even the ones they don't offer. I ended up being allergic to the standard Taxol so then, and only then, did they offer Abraxane. Not to say one is better than the other but full disclosure, they call it the "Rolls Royce of chemotherapy"?!? Advocate. For. Yourself. And of course, ask about cold cap services and any other resource teams they may work with (acupuncture, movement/yoga classes, nutritionists, therapy etc.)
Kesley on advocating
I second Blythe! Remember, it's your body and you know it more than your doctor, more than the numbers they see in their database. Advocate for yourself and speak up! This is your chance to defend yourself if anything seems off.
Stay Hydrated
Drink water daily, before and after treatment, to stay hydrated. Both of us tried to drink at least a gallon a day. Bring a big water bottle everywhere you go, including during your chemo session. This helps process the medicine and keeps side effects at bay. Be sure to ask your oncology team about extra hydration options following your infusion days.
Blythe on extra hydration
Tell your Oncologist that you would like to have additional hydration sessions following your treatments. You'll have to go back for an infusion, but it's going to make you bounce back so much smoother. Kesley didn't have this option and felt like she was hit with the worst hangover. This is an option that not many know is available to them. Again, speak up and let them know what is going to make YOU comfortable.
Bring Your Chemo Bag
When you go to your treatment sessions, come equipped with everything you need to stay busy, comfortable, and entertained. You'll want to include a water bottle, headphones for music, podcasts, meditations, or to watch a show. Word games and mind puzzles are great too. Most facilities offer warm blankets, but there's something special about bringing a cozy one from home. Personal items like photos, crystals, or charms can be comforting. And don't forget your cryo gloves to help with potential neuropathy. We've curated a list of products we loved on our Amazon page. On there, you will find every phase of this. We have products that are great for treatment days, radiation, surgery, and everything in between.
Kesley on packing
The first treatment, you're going to feel compelled to bring everything under the sun with you. I felt like I was moving in! You never know what you might need. Over time, my bag became lighter to the point where I only showed up with my water bottle, AirPods, a crystal, and my laptop. Bring all the things that will bring you comfort, but you may soon realize the essentials are really all you need.
Blythe on keeping your mind active
All of the above, plus I was gifted crossword puzzles, which I felt kept my mind active. Coloring books as well, yes I am a grown adult, but again brain power lol. Chemo fog is real so I think this helped the more I did these kinds of activities during infusions.
See the full CQ Chemo Bag Guide →
Take Your Meds
To manage side effects, use your prescribed medications for nausea and pain relief, and consider natural remedies like fresh juiced ginger and tea. Even if you don't feel nauseous, take your anti-nausea meds anyway. Trust us, even if you think you're good bathroom-wise, take the Senokot, Colace, or whatever your team suggests for constipation. You're going to want it. Also, be sure to keep track of your meds and symptoms. There's a section in the back of The Chemo Queens Journal specifically for this to help you stay organized.
Kesley on the bathroom situation
Most likely, anyone I've mentioned this to (specifically the Senokot/Colace, ie constipation meds) ignored me on this one, and you probably will too. Take the pills!! You will probably make the mistake once and then realize I was right. Don't sleep on these!! Thank me later!
Blythe on staying ahead
Yep. Take. The. Meds. It's all about preventative steps, staying ahead of possible side effects. It helped to set alarms.
What To Eat
There's no golden rule on what to eat, it's all about what your body needs. Whether you're eating a balanced diet, going vegan, doing intermittent fasting, Paleo, or whole foods, listen to your body. Steer clear of the cold cut deli meats, sugary stuff, and booze, but if you want cake, eat the damn cake! We both ate a balanced diet rich in fruits, veggies, and protein to maintain our strength. On days when food wasn't appealing, nutrient-dense bone broth and smoothies were lifesavers. The point is to consume something that fuels you and keeps your energy up. Talk to your physician for diet suggestions.
Blythe on eating through it
I swear the only thing I could eat was pad Thai and popsicles. The Kate Farms protein shakes were clutch as well. But do what you can here and keep the dialogue open with your oncology team. They may have a team of nutritionists who can help guide you.
Kesley on protecting your favorites
If you go through all the blogs and forums, many will say the same thing: try not to eat your favorite things. I don't know if it's PTSD or what but there are certain foods that are quite frankly ruined for me. Not to be alarmed, it's not forever, but food may begin to taste weird over time. Fuel your body with as much nutrients as possible to give you energy and make you feel good. Smoothies and Kettle Fire Bone Broth were lifesavers for me during the last couple of months.
Rest is Your Friend
Rest as much as you can and listen to your body. Give yourself time to fully recover by taking naps and trying to get a full night's sleep. Rebuilding your energy is essential for your upcoming treatments. Right now, your main focus should be on you and your healing. Everything else can wait.
Kesley on slowing down
As someone who was always on the go, constantly traveling and bouncing from one thing to the next, I was literally forced to slow down and finally get some sleep! It was tough feeling so confined, especially with COVID going on at the same time. A double lockdown. But I soon realized that rest was exactly what I needed to show up for myself and get through it. Each treatment became a step closer to reclaiming my life. Now, my life looks so different from what it used to be. Those moments of rest helped me really tune in and connect with my body. That connection is something that still continues to this day.
Blythe on permission
There's no shame in resting. There was a time when I couldn't sleep and I was prescribed sleep aids and never took them. A peace of mind knowing I had the option? The mind is powerful.
Move Your Body
Along with getting plenty of rest, movement is essential! Even something as simple as walking around the block or doing some light stretching can make a big difference. While Kesley found peace in taking walks, Blythe continued to hit the gym and worked with her trainer. It all depends on what your body needs, but what we found is that staying active helped prevent our energy from becoming stagnant. Plus, it boosts your mood and gets those endorphins flowing, helping you feel better, more energized, and more connected to yourself.
Blythe on just showing up
I didn't want to lose my stride. My only goal was to show up to the gym every Monday and that's what I did. The goal wasn't to get fit or lose weight, it was to just move. Some days I just cried on my trainer's shoulder, other days I felt like I could move a f*cking mountain but, we just kept moving. It was just about showing up. Perhaps it was that feeling of normalcy? The chemo cloud will want to keep you crumpled on the couch so do what you can and be sure to listen to your body.
To Try Cold Capping Or Not?
Kesley didn't have the opportunity to cold cap, but Blythe did. If you're wondering what cold capping is and how it could potentially save your hair during treatment, check out Blythe's Cold Cap Guide. If cold capping isn't an option, hair loss is a possibility but don't lose hope! There are miracle stories of people who didn't lose their hair. And if you do lose your hair, there are options. You can cut it early and use it for extensions, have a wig made from your own hair, experiment with different wigs, or rock the bald look. Kesley ended up completely losing her hair but found liberation in embracing the change by shaving her head early on, with Blythe by her side. It felt like she was gearing up for battle! The best part? Her hair started growing back just two weeks after her last chemo treatment!
Check out Blythe's Cold Cap Guide →
Blythe on cold capping
I am a huge advocate for cold capping, I will tell everybody to at least TRY it. There are types of treatments that don't allow it but if it is available to you, go for it.
Kesley on her hair
I didn't have the chance to try cold capping, but oh, how I wish I could have. To say I was obsessed with my hair would be an understatement. Letting it go was heartbreaking, but after it started falling out and forming these awful, painful dreadlocks, it no longer felt like my hair; it just had to go. It was the ultimate betrayal. After everything my hair and I had been through together, I couldn't believe how quickly it gave up on me. It felt like a breakup, but one that turned out to be strangely freeing. I still miss my old hair sometimes, and when I look back at pictures, there's a part of me that's nostalgic. But as my new curls grow in, I'm learning to love and respect my hair in a whole new way. These fresh, damage-free curls that dance across my face? They're my little reminder of resiliency. Back when my own reflection felt unfamiliar, I kept reminding myself, "This is temporary." It became my mantra, carrying me through every chapter of that wild time.
Fertility Options
Chemotherapy can impact fertility, but there are options for preservation. Talk to your Oncologist about seeing a fertility specialist. Options may include egg/sperm freezing or ovarian protection. Financial assistance programs might also be available, so be sure to ask about resources. We have a Fertility Talk Tools guide with some tips and things to consider.
Kesley on fertility
I would have never known that fertility preservation would be an option had the nurse not asked about me having children. The minute I said I wanted to be a mother and hadn't been one yet, she immediately connected me to a fertility specialist. My doctor shared all of my options, even letting me know that my insurance covered the entire cost and first year of preservation. When the time comes, I now know I have options.
Create A Supportive Environment
Turn your home into your sanctuary, a place that's not just relaxing and supportive, but also filled with comfort. Surround yourself with people and things that lift you up and bring you joy. It's crucial to protect your space and energy, so don't hesitate to delete, cancel, remove, or expel anyone or anything that drags you down. This is your show, and it's all about your healing. Don't let anyone's insecurities or negativity interfere with your process. Right now, it's all about YOU. Focus on what YOU need to thrive.
Blythe on protecting your energy
If you are currently in a toxic relationship or surrounded by people who you feel don't really support you already, gracefully let them go now. Or ghost them. Whatever your thing is. Your life depends on it.
Kesley on leaning in
Lean on your people. Ask for help and try your best to not be prideful. It takes a village and the village will rally. Don't be surprised who you hear from, who you don't, and who will make it about them.
Focus On Self-Love
Now more than ever, it's essential to be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the changes your body is going through and find ways to appreciate and celebrate your incredible strength. Our bodies are truly magical, and you're stronger than you may realize. Take time to reward yourself for everything you're enduring, whether that's treating yourself to a massage, indulging in a gentle facial, soaking in the calming vibrations of a sound bath, practicing meditation, or diving into manifestation work like TBM. Or listen to daily affirmations from Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer. Whatever brings you comfort and joy, make it a priority. You deserve it.
Blythe on remembering who you are
Remember who the f*ck you are. At some point along the way you will look in the mirror and start to see physical changes. Just remember this is the body carrying you through it, embrace this version of you. I think it's important to hold a vision of who you want to be on the other side of this because you will never be the same after this. You will soon find out that the glow-up post chemo is very very real.
Kesley on this being temporary
This is temporary. The pain, the sadness, the guilt, the confusion, the symptoms, the side effects, everything about this process is temporary. Will it be easy? Hell no! But taking it day by day, minute by minute, know that there's hope on the other side of this. MANY have come before you and have found beauty after. You are not alone in this.
Prepare Mentally
A cancer diagnosis can feel like an out-of-body experience, leaving you feeling disconnected from yourself. Which is why it's SO important to practice mindfulness and meditation as part of your mental preparation for treatment. Taking time to reconnect with yourself through meditation can be incredibly grounding and supportive of your healing. Therapy can also move mountains. If you are not already in therapy, this is the time. Having a professional in your corner who is not emotionally invested in your diagnosis the way your loved ones are makes a real difference. We found that combining meditation and affirmations with moments of pure joy, like having mini dance parties in the car, scream-singing with the windows down, really helped us get in the right headspace before treatments. And when you need a pick-me-up, our Spotify Playlist is here to help manage stress and lift your spirits, both before and after chemo!
Kesley on mindset
Blythe and I are big believers in the power of mindset and thought. Think The Secret, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Joe Dispenza, Gabby Bernstein, you name it, we're probably into it. We've found that finding peace within yourself, in any way that resonates with you, can really help calm your mind and give you a sense of hope. During my treatments, I leaned into meditation and even did hypnosis meditations with my spiritual coach, Celeste Palmer. Every morning, I'd listen to affirmations, sometimes I'd even record my own. There's something about hearing your own voice telling you affirmations that feels deeply healing and helped me stay centered through it all.
Document Your Experience
Writing about your experiences throughout this time can be a powerful tool for processing your emotions and making sense of this chapter in your life. Whether it's journaling daily thoughts or expressing fears and frustrations, putting pen to paper can help you reflect and heal. Documenting your experience also creates a record of your strength and resilience. Plus, your experiences could one day inspire and support others who might be facing similar challenges. Remember, there's no right or wrong way to do this, just let your thoughts flow. Grab a copy of our journal. It'll be a great tool to use during your treatments.
Blythe on sharing your story
To be honest, I wasn't sure I was going to share my experience publicly. As someone who works on-screen, my first impulse was to hide away until it was all over but I knew this wasn't ultimately going to be about me, but through me. We've already helped multiple people save their hair during chemotherapy and that was just by word of mouth from people who had never even heard of cold capping! So by sharing your story, you shed light for others. But also, hiding is perfectly okay, too.
Kesley on daily pages
I still do this to this day, but I did daily Pages, something I adopted from The Artist's Way. First thing when you wake up, before you talk to anyone, or troll your socials, or check your texts and emails, pick up your journal and write. It's 3 pages of whatever you want, and that's it. No more, no less, just 3 pages of a brain dump. Don't reread your words or try to change the narrative; just write and go about your day. It's helped so much in clearing my mind before I start my mornings and was a huge help to get the jitters out before treatment.
Ask For Help
Don't hesitate to ask for help with daily tasks, running errands, picking up groceries, taking you to treatment, doing laundry, or tidying up the house. Lean on your people for support! If you need more resources, let them do the searching for you. The last thing you need to do is hit up Google for advice. Do not look up life expectancy or any of that. It does. Not. Serve you. What someone else goes through during their treatment is NOT your story. Period. Your body will react completely differently.
Kesley on asking for help
I had been diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. If you were to Google it, the results are scary and ridiculously overwhelming. Instead of falling down the rabbit hole, I had one of my besties, Aliisa, do the research for me. I needed someone to weed through the pharma mess online and find the gems who can give me guidance on what to do next. It was a huge help!
Consider Adding Healing Modalities
Alongside your medical treatments, consider integrating complementary healing modalities to help manage pain, nausea, and other side effects. Acupuncture can be particularly effective. Kesley visited a practitioner weekly, and it was a game-changer in her healing process. Reiki, which works to balance your body's energy and promote deep relaxation, can also provide comfort. Another option is craniosacral therapy, which gently encourages the body's natural healing processes and can be incredibly soothing. These therapies can be powerful allies, helping to support both your physical and emotional well-being.
Kesley on healing modalities
Acupuncture was a lifesaver, especially towards the end of my cycles. I also took flower essences suggested by my acupuncturist, which helped with anxiety and overall calmness. One I used was Safe and Sound by Alexis Smart. Her products are so beautiful. She has an array of tinctures but Safe and Sound was so soothing. I also dabbled in THC and CBD drops, which overall ended up making me feel super stoned, sleepy, and not fully present on top of the chemo, which I hated so I ended up ditching them. But I know several people who swear by them and their healing properties. It's worth a try! Also, a good sound bath can do wonders!!
Above All Else, Find Joy
Finding joy in the little things can really help take the edge off. We all know laughter is the best medicine! So whether it's funny memes, that friend who always makes you giggle, or a movie you've seen a hundred times but never gets old, these small moments matter. It doesn't have to be big or planned, it just needs to make you feel GOOD, even if just for a millisecond, to forget it all. It's these moments that can remind you, you're still you, not defined by a diagnosis.
Kesley on making it your own
I suggest trying to make this experience your own and add a little spice. If you want to wear a new wig every treatment, DO IT! As someone who used to wig out with my friends for fun, wearing a hot wig didn't really do it for me. BUT I wore a new boob shirt every week and even created my own for my last treatment! A boob shirt with tassels and it was glorious!!! I also shared my experience weekly on Instagram. I had previously shared my trip around the world before the pandemic, so it seemed fitting to also share this. I found it therapeutic in a way, my own little outlet to look forward to, to share my thoughts and attempt to keep it real with my friends and family in one place.
Use Gentle Skincare Products
Avoid harsh chemicals and opt for gentle, non-irritating skincare products to manage skin sensitivity, soothe, and protect your skin. Chemotherapy can often dry out your skin, so while you're keeping your body nourished with water and hydrating liquids, a good skincare routine will help keep your skin feeling soft and cared for.
Blythe on skincare
Before I started treatment I was in Austin working on a job and I met April from the Skin Whisperer. I told her about my story, and it just so happened she had worked with numerous cancer patients. She introduced me to Osmosis Beauty, which is still my favorite skincare brand, and they have an entire oncology-friendly line. Check our perks page for more details on a discount code.
Wear Comfortable Clothes
Wear loose, soft, and comfy clothes during treatment. Think cozy layers, like your favorite sweatshirt or a soft pair of leggings, anything that makes you feel relaxed and at ease. Opt for fabrics that are gentle on your skin, especially since it might be more sensitive than usual. Easy-to-wear outfits that you can slip on and off without much effort. Comfort is key, so choose pieces that make you feel good, both physically and mentally. Don't forget to bring along some cozy socks to keep warm during your sessions. We have a few cozy options on our Amazon Storefront.
You made it through this guide.
Now there's one more thing to add to your list.
The CQ Bell Collection was designed for exactly this moment. A bell you can wear for your first treatment, your last, a scan day, a hard day, or the moment you finally rang it and needed something to carry that feeling forward.
Wear it for whatever chapter you're in.
Start Thinking About The Future
Who do you want to be after this chapter of your life? What do you want to eliminate or introduce into your life? Maybe there's something you've always wanted to try but never had the guts to do. Is it a new career, packing up and moving to a different city, confessing your love to someone you've admired, writing that book, or finally taking that trip to Europe? The world is your oyster, and ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! This is your moment to redefine your future and go after what truly makes you happy.
Blythe on what's waiting
There is so much beauty on the other side of pain. This was my rebirth. What a gift. It's all a part of it. Who do you want to be on the other side of this?
Kesley on what came next
For me, I had so many things on the horizon that kept me excited for what came after. I wanted to travel more in Europe since ringing the bell. I've explored Italy, Spain, and even lived in Portugal for a month. I'm already planning to spend all of next summer in Europe! I also wanted to finally dive into my childhood dream of becoming an actress. Growing up in theater, acting, and performing had always been a part of me, even though I took the corporate route. Acting became that bright light at the end of my tunnel. Once my pixie hair came through, I got my headshots, signed with a commercial and theatrical agent, and started booking jobs almost immediately. It quickly became clear that when you go after what you truly want, doors and windows start to burst open. So dream big. ANYTHING is possible!
From Kesley + Blythe
We've been through this. Both of us. And we built Chemo Queens™ so you don't have to piece it all together alone at 2am from random forums and outdated articles.
Use this guide. Come back to it. Share it with someone who needs it.
This is just a chapter.
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